She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
