party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
