Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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