No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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