Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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