What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
