am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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