He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize