I smell stomach acid.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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