I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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