We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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