he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
