There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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