I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize