i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
