Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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