I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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