You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Randomize