awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
