The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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