i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
