I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Slut skills are useful in every country.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
