Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I need a beard to bite.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize