This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
