operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
