i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
