are you so shy because you have an std?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He shit in the fireplace
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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