and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
