My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
