So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
