so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Randomize
