So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
sex in a hospital.. check
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
