I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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