My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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