Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
