Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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