so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
