I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Randomize