I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
