I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
