You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You smell like stripper and shame
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
