you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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