Whoa Z and x make the same sound
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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