I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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