I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
