we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize