Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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