So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
