I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
