There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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