first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
