i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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