they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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