So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
try to milk me bitch
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