Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
