Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The adults are the big ones right?
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