sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
