I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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