woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Randomize
