Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
