i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
