You're so nebulous sometimes
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
