ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I think your dad took our porno
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
